I, like so many other Christian #nevertrump-ers, am switching my oath to not support Trump quicker than Ted Cruz changed his promise to support Trump. \u00a0Just as Cruz couldn\u2019t have foreseen Trump accusing his father of assassinating JFK, I couldn\u2019t have foreseen the turn of events of the last three months. \u00a0Who would have known that FOX NEWS, the only unbiased source of news, would support Trump as soon as he became the clear winner of the Republican nomination? \u00a0There can be NO other explanation (don\u2019t even try) than, we all judged him too soon, based on public behavior over the last thirty years. \u00a0Without further ado, here are ten reasons that I will #neversaynevertrump :<\/p>\n
\n
1. \u00a0We Need Fresh Blood<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 We need fresh blood <\/span>in the Republican Party. \u00a0Trump\u2019s blood is so fresh that a vile of it is known to be the antidote to Vampirism. \u00a0Trump\u2019s blood is so fresh that we have seen him continually learn what it means to be a conservative during this primary season. \u00a0At first, all he knew was that the President\u2019s birth certificate was fake and that we need a wall, but <\/span>he is a quick study<\/a><\/span>. \u00a0Whenever he has learned an essential element to getting Republican votes, he has seen the error of his ways.<\/span><\/p>\n \n 2. \u00a0Trump is a Good Man<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Scratch that, he\u2019s the best man who ever lived. \u00a0We know that He would not have slipped up and got caught in Vietnam like John McCain, <\/span>that\u2019s for losers<\/a><\/span>. \u00a0He is so great, that he can say horrible things about people, but they still confess that he is a good man. \u00a0I thought Ben Carson was a good man, but Trump thinks Carson is like a <\/span>pedophile<\/a><\/span>\u00a0(and Trump knows a lot about <\/span>insest<\/a><\/span>) or at least a liar<\/span>, and Ben still supports him.<\/span><\/p>\n \n (If you have not yet realized this is satire, please return to the top and start over.)<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \n 3. \u00a0Trump is a Christian<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Donald Trump is the only Christian I have ever known that has never had to <\/span>ask God for forgiveness<\/a><\/span>. \u00a0You may doubt his orthodoxy, but there is no other explanation for why he is always pandering for the votes of Christians. \u00a0Trump says he is a Christian, and a Christian would never ask Christians to vote for him just because he wants their votes.<\/span><\/p>\n \n 4. \u00a0Don\u2019t Forget the <\/span>Game Plan<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Donald Trump is a Republican. Christians must vote Republican. That’s the game plan, according to the pamphlet <\/span>How to Disciple the Nations<\/span><\/em>\u00a0published by the Republican National Committee<\/span>. \u00a0We know that the only way to end abortion is to vote Republican in every national race. \u00a0Look how much we have gotten by never deviating from this game plan. \u00a0Our nation has been brought so far in the direction of righteousness in the last thirty years. \u00a0The game plan works! \u00a0(That is, if you don’t count abortion and gay marriage.)<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Face it, abortion will only be ended by the federal government. \u00a0When the Supreme Court tells governors not to keep babies from being murdered, God surely wants governor’s to obey them. \u00a0Every governor has to allow babies to be murdered until enough Supreme Court justices drop dead. \u00a0If we keep to the game plan for another century, maybe abortion will end! \u00a0It\u2019s not like a <\/span>state can disobey Congress<\/a><\/span>! \u00a0That\u2019s just crazy! \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \n 5. \u00a0A Democrat President Will Destroy the Nation Within Four Years<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 I know, some of you are getting tired of that doom and gloom. \u00a0Sure, it didn\u2019t happen in 92, or 96, or 2008, or 2012. \u00a0But we will certainly see the absolute destruction of our nation, nay, the world, if one more Democrat becomes President. \u00a0We cannot think longer term than four years. \u00a0Doom is nigh. \u00a0The Republican party must know they can count on our vote as long as they are slightly to the right of the Democrats. We don\u2019t want them to actually have to earn our votes and put forth righteous policy, that would be arrogant of us. \u00a0Did I mention doom is nigh?<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Remember, this is a two party system (it\u2019s somewhere in the Constitution, right?). \u00a0And those two parties have never changed (right?). \u00a0Maybe if there was a viable third party we would vote for them, but nobody is going to vote for those losers when both the nominees for the major parties are so competent. \u00a0Sure, if we lost this election by throwing support behind, for instance, the<\/span>\u00a0Constitution Party<\/a><\/span>, we might kick the Republican Party out of the picture in four years, but by then Hillary Clinton will have completely destroyed our nation.<\/span><\/p>\n \n 6. \u00a0Trump Has the Only Thing you Need for Diplomacy<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 How should our nation deal with other sovereign nations? \u00a0The answer is obvious: \u00a0<\/span>hostility, strength, and speaking off the cuff. \u00a0Why has The President and the Secretary of State done so terribly? \u00a0It\u2019s not because of their politically correct, Christ-defying ideology of world unity mixed with a self-serving desire to meddle in smaller nations. \u00a0They have done a bad job, for not being strong and hostile and for thinking too much before they tell other nations where they can go! \u00a0We need a President who has a\u00a0politically in<\/em>correct, Christ-defying ideology of world unity and a self-serving desire to meddle in smaller nations.<\/span><\/p>\n \n 7. \u00a0Trump will keep his promises<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 We know Donald Trump will keep his promises. \u00a0If you\u2019re unsure, ask FOX NEWS. \u00a0Don\u2019t ask his first two wives, because keeping promises to the one person to whom you should be most faithful has no correlation to political promises. \u00a0Don\u2019t ask any of his creditors, because four bankruptcies have no correlation to what he will say to get votes either.<\/span><\/p>\n \n 8. \u00a0We need a President Who Will Calm Racial Tension<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 There has been a lot of racial tension in this nation. \u00a0Why? \u00a0Not because we need justice system reforms or because our country needs Jesus. There are racial tensions because Barrack Obama too quickly sides with minorities during police violence. \u00a0We need a president who too quickly sides with police during police violence. \u00a0That will end racial animosity.<\/span><\/p>\n \n 9. \u00a0He will put America First<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 America is Trump\u2019s first priority, right after his <\/span>own fame and power<\/a><\/span>. \u00a0That is so different from Secretary Clinton. \u00a0She only cares about her own fame and power.<\/span><\/p>\n \n 10. \u00a0An Unpredictable Evil is Always Better than a Predictable One<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 I would much prefer to pet the dog that might rip the flesh from my bones than the one that will certainly pee on my leg. \u00a0Trump might evolve back into a New York liberal or a reality television character in the White House, but maybe He will accidentally be the greatest president in history. \u00a0On the other hand, can we really afford a third Clinton Presidency? \u00a0Remember, doom is nigh!<\/span><\/p>\n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I, like so many other Christian #nevertrump-ers, am switching my oath to not support Trump quicker than Ted Cruz changed his promise to support Trump. \u00a0Just as Cruz couldn\u2019t have foreseen Trump accusing his father of assassinating JFK, I couldn\u2019t have foreseen the turn of events of the last three months. \u00a0Who would have known … Continue reading Never Say #NeverTrump<\/span>